Avoid Divorce And Learn How To Save Your Marriage
A lot of rough spots and bumps can be found in most marital relationships which can even cause seemingly insurmountable rifts. It takes a concentrated effort to save your marriage when such incidents occur.
It is a common practice in developed countries of the world that modern medicine seeks to treat the symptoms of the affliction when confronted with a disease in a patient. But in comparison, for preventing future outbreaks, it is the aim of medical researchers to unearth the cause of the illness.
So you not only have to eliminate the cause of your marital problems but also treat the symptoms. To prevent the problem from recurring, you have to eradicate the cause and have to work on healing the symptoms of your relationship problems.
Immediate action has to be taken to change the causes of the problem if either one or both of you is creating problems in your marriage. This problem should be addressed jointly if the cause involves an indifferent attitude or one or both of your actions.
In your approach to resolving marital difficulties, it is smart to be organized. You should first make a list of the problems and the responsible party. Then decide how a positive outcome can be achieved and outline your actions.
Your partner should make the same list and each list can be discussed in a quite manner. Assuming that your partner is also willing to save what you have together, you should jointly decide what action each of you will take to save your marriage.
Some of the emotions can be taken out of the process by using an organized approach. You should put the plan into effect immediately once you have decided what course of action you will take. You should discuss the progress with your partner daily.
You will have to resort to other means to convince your spouse to remain in the marriage especially when your partner is uncooperative and he or she deems himself to be the ‘wronged’ party.
Here you can show your partner the list of things you will undertake for improving your marriage. You can suggest that your spouse prepare their own list when it becomes apparent that you are working to make things better.
You should also prepare a list of all the reasons for salvaging your marriage apart from your list of planned actions. Show assets on one end and liabilities on the other to make a balance sheet. If your partner is willing to discuss it, then do so.
You can also seek assistance from an unbiased third party such as a couple, close friend or couple whom your partner respects and listens to if they are unwilling to discuss your problems. You can ask this party to discuss the balance sheet with you and your spouse.
Don’t Be Hindered By Change
It is more difficult to change a situation than remaining in it. Most people are resistant to change and are more comfortable with familiar activities, relationships and surroundings.
Your partner will also be amenable if you show that you are willing to make an effort to work the kinks out of your marriage.
Both of you should remember that ‘to err is human, to forgive is divine.’ So be divine if either one of your has erred greatly.