Do’s and Don’ts for Making Up with Your Ex
Hindsight is 20/20. You may look back on a relationship you ended and desire to reunite with your ex. Maybe you realize you both made mistakes and that with a little time and effort you could work out your differences. Reuniting with an ex requires honesty, patience and work. Some actions and behaviors are more useful to reconnecting with your ex than others. Consider these do’s and don’ts for successfully rekindling your relationship with ex.
Don’t harass your ex. One person’s fight for love can be another person’s restraining order. Too much persistence can look like stalking. In most states, stalking is a crime that can land you in jail. There are many calm, low-pressure ways to communicate with your ex. When just beginning to re-establish a relationship, take things slow at first. While an occasional text message, email or phone call is nice to show you care, 10-20 messages a day will certainly turn your ex off and make them want to stay away from you. You must honor their space.
Do get a social life. Make friends. Get a hobby. Spend time with family. Travel. People like interesting people. Discover what makes you interesting and do it. You may find that you become more interesting to your ex when you become more interested in yourself. Filling your free time with things that are important to you leaves little time to obsess over getting your ex back.
Don’t become depressed over the process of getting your ex back. Depression is not sexy. Life exists after a breakup. Be sure to take care of yourself and your needs so that you will not rely on your intimate relationships for self-nourishment. No ex wants to feel like the only reason you exist is because they exist. Prove to yourself that you have a life outside of your relationship.
Do listen. When you and your ex have your first talks after a period of separation, genuinely listen to what your ex has to say. Repeat back to your ex what they have said to be sure you understand them. A popular self-help guru once said that listening to a person is like giving them air. Once they feel they have all the air they need then they will turn around and give you air, too. Give your ex air by listening to them. Let them know that you love and respect them enough to hear and accept their words and emotions. Listening to your ex will go a long way toward mending your relationship.
Do’s Don’ts For You To Make It Work Again With Your Ex
Do prepare to make concessions. Relationships are built on give and take. You cannot have things your way all the time. You honor and respect your partner by giving up and giving in from time to time for the greater good. They honor and respect you by doing the same. No one person carries allthe fault in a breakup. Admit to yourself and your ex where you fell short and apologize. Then, try to do better.